I’ve been a bad blogger. There is nothing that irritates me more than a blog without active content. Part of the hold up has been my sadness over the end of summer. I know; not another blog post about summer ending. But it’s true. I’ve had thoughts of back to school (even though it’s been a long time since I’ve been in school); visions of new notebooks and winter clothes. I’ve longed for a few weeks where I can just lounge on the beach and read a book but this summer had a different focus than summers before for me.

I can remember when I was young, the big back-to-school event was the trip my mother and grandmother would take me on to get my new lunchbox at Two Guys. If you lived in the Northeast, specifically Hoboken (right outside NYC), you would recognize the name of this variety store. Think of it like Target, 30 years ago. It had everything from clothes to food and every summer, as August neared to a close, my mother and my grandmother would take me there to buy a new lunchbox. I remember the care with which I picked it out, paying special attention to the character or the design on the front. I remember that was when lunchboxes had a thermos inside and when you opened the thermos, it was lined with a metallic-like substance. (who knows what that was?) I was always so happy to get a lunchbox, more so because it was a special trip we’d make together but it gave me a little anticipation for the beginning of the school year and eased the sadness just a little for the end of the summer.

I also was hugely obsessed with school supplies. Notebooks, pens, colored pencils, markers, highlighters; I bought them all. My fingers itched at the idea of writing in a new notebook. The idea of that also eased my transition from summer to fall.

But there is always a bit of sadness when summer ends. I could see it in the faces of kids when I went to Staples the other day (their version of Two Guys). Still wearing their summer shorts and t shirts (it was 95 degrees on Sept 1, after all), still sporting their tans from hours spent on the beach, riding waves and making sandcastles. Looking a bit stunned as their parents did the responsible thing by making sure they were prepared for that big first day. I remember when I was a kid, while we spent a few weeks here and there at the beach, we primarily spent our summers playing running bases, hide and go seek and just basically hung outside with our neighborhood friends catching fireflies and riding bikes. We didn’t have Facebook or cell phones… we didn’t have DVDs or DVR’s. We wouldn’t dream of spending any time in front of a computer (our house didn’t have one anyway). We ran around outside until we were so dirty and it was too dark to see. We had sleepovers and made forts, put up tents and climbed trees. These were not times where we worried about what we ate, how we’d do in school or if we’d have the right electronic device on hand to do our homework. They were pretty simple times and lest you think I’m speaking of a long time ago, I’m only talking about 30 years ago. I don’t know; maybe that is a long time but it certainly doesn’t seem like so long ago, considering how far we’ve come or gone, from childhoods like those.

With fall comes the promise of a new chance, kind of like how we feel on January 1. The change of seasons, the ending of a seasonal chapter in our lives can at times feel like a chance to turn over a new leaf. The bustle of back to school seems like a good time to capitalize on the momentum of the beginning of the month to plant the seeds of a new intention.

So, in the beginning of this new season, close your eyes and think of something new you’d like to achieve. Or, think of something you’ve wanted to achieve but you need a sense of renewed faith that it will happen. Take this Labor Day weekend, and use it as a time to restore your faith that your dreams will come true. Take the time to nurture yourself, eat well, ease up on the pressure to “do it all” and spend time with good friends and family. Read a book. Do something in nature. Take in a movie. Go to a museum. Visit a new city or local town. Spend time with animals. Fly a kite. Go to the beach. Cook a healthy meal. Give someone a hug. Give lots of hugs.

September is here and with it, the close of the summer but with it comes a sense of renewed faith that if your heart is in the right place, the right things will happen.

I wish you all a wonderful Labor Day weekend and wish you much success in the final months of 2010.

There are lots of things that are uncertain these days. The economy is the biggest thing that comes to mind; for many, there is the loss of a job or the impending loss of a job; there are the fluctuations of the stock market, the daily, sometimes hourly, reports about employment and then there are the daily struggles of all of us, as we work to pinch pennies and make it through.

These kinds of times can be trying and exhausting. They can take their toll on our health, our sense of security. They can divert our attention from being present to being ever focused on the future. Ultimately, they can lead to tremendous stress.

I was thinking the other day that in the midst of all that creates stress for me, there are things that I know. Things that are true, things that will remain, no matter what changes outside of me. And I thought in order to create a sense of grounding for myself, I’d write them down (this is what I often do; I’m a bona fide list maker).

So here is my list. I encourage you to make your own too and look at it when you feel like you need grounding.

· I know that I’m strong and my body is healthy. While this may change over time (hopefully, I’ll always be generally healthy), I know I will practice yoga and run for a long time.

· I know that I’m creative and that creativity can serve to not only keep me light-hearted but also can also help me when things require I think out of the box.

· I know my parents love me and no matter what crazy idea I come up with, they will support me.

· I know that when things get really tough, I have my breath and my yoga practice to keep me from completely losing it.

· I know that I have some really great friends that will support me and step up if I need them.

· I’m smart and experienced and can use that in a variety of ways to make money.

· I know that if things get really bad, all I have to do is go to the beach and I’ll feel better.

· I know she won’t be around forever, but as long as she lives, my dog Bailey Rose will be my strength, my inspiration and one of the best cuddlers around.

· I know that kids and animals will always make me smile.

· I know that with hard work and dedication, I can do anything I want.

· While I don’t know what the future might hold for me, I know what I want my future to look like and the more I see it, the more I believe in it.

· I know that the more I want things to be the same, the more I create stress for myself because things are always changing. The more I can accept that, the greater my chances of making peace with what is.

So, go ahead! Make your list. What kind of things do you know to be true, no matter what?

The human condition never ceases to amaze me. The more I listen to people as they share thoughts and feelings about life, the more I am amazed at how much of a factor the mind plays in what we can and cannot do in life. Sometimes people share thoughts with me after yoga class or as we’re working individually and in so many ways, I find it comes back to forgiveness. That lack of letting oneself off the hook for something; it could be a specific event or action that one person did to another, or it could just be a feeling of not becoming something that one might feel one needs to become.

I was inspired to write about forgiveness after seeing “Eat Pray Love” today. The scene with Julia Roberts and Richard Jenkins is, in my opinion, one of the best, most touching scenes in the movie. I remember seeing her on Letterman on Thursday night (it was a re-run from about a month ago) and the one scene she mentioned to Dave as what she guessed was the most memorable one to him, being a dad and all, was that particular scene. She said she thought that scene would make him cry, out of all the scenes in the movie (I know this isn’t making much sense to you if you didn’t see it). Well, it was pretty therapeutic for me and it made me think, “What am I not letting myself off the hook for? Is that what’s blocking me?” (yeah, you probably don’t want to go to the movies with me… I’m a really party animal afterwards!)

But even beyond my story, it made me think about forgiveness. It made me think about people that have done horrible things and if they even can move past it. It made me think about people that have done wonderful things but somehow, in their minds, it’s gotten all twisted into guilt. It made me think about car accidents, plane crashes and lay offs. It made me think about trauma and survivor guilt and all the ways that feelings can get twisted up inside and mess with our heads. It made me think about disease, about losing a battle to disease, about living with a disease, about surviving one. It made me think about financial stress, not living the life you want, or living the life you thought you wanted, and somehow, it’s not turned out to be what you wanted after all.

These things, “events” we can call them, can create havoc on our emotional system. And when that happens, we have one of two choices. We can face our fears, face our pain and deal with it, or we can stuff it down and pack it away and think it will never re-surface. But just as John Kabat-Zinn so masterfully says in the title of his wonderful book, “Wherever you go, there you are,” you can travel to Italy, India, Bali or anywhere, but eventually, there you’ll be, the same person you were before you left, facing whatever it is that might have made you pack up and leave.

Many of us never leave; we stay, we “deal with it,” we “attack” the problem. We make lists, we create an action plan, we “do the work.” I suppose this is the stuff of recovery, of making peace with it and for many of us, it’s essential to helping us heal. But at the core of it all, what is needed? At the core, I guess we have to love ourselves. Love ourselves through it all, despite it all and because of it all. There are bad things that happen and I suppose in some situations there are bad choices. We don’t eat the right things, we don’t wear our seat belts. We drive too fast. We use our credit cards knowing we don’t have the money to pay the bill. We miss the doctor’s appointment; or we don’t make it. We call in sick when we’re not, we gossip. We harbor jealous feelings, we say hateful things. We write emails that we regret, we leave voice mails we wish we could take back. We don’t call when we should, we ignore and disregard. We push ourselves, hard, to do more, to be more, to work hard because that’s the only way. Right? Isn’t that what they say?

But no, somehow, we know that really, the only way to letting ourselves off the hook, to letting ourselves really heal, is to be in stillness. The mind works overtime while we are in motion, robbing us of precious moments of presence. I spoke to a student after class today who shared that on a recent hike in Montana, one of the most beautiful places in the country, she realized she was barely taking note of her surroundings because she was so wrapped up in her thoughts. I spoke to another who finally found peace with “what is” in her life right now, through the teachings of author and speaker, Byron Katie. We all harbor much in our bodies, minds and hearts, and for many of us, as we grow older, the layers upon layers of “stuff” we pile on top of the unpleasant feelings and memories gets thicker and heavier. Sometimes I see people running around the Charles River, as I live here in Boston, and something tells me, as I watch some beautiful people struggle to push themselves, I wonder, “What might they be running from?” We can take physical exercise to an extreme and although exercise is healthy, it can be a method used to avoid and suppress. No one more than me wants to believe that through yoga, running and other physical exercise, we create a path to healing. I do believe that’s true but I wonder if that’s enough sometimes. My recent experience with boxing led me to believe that I’m only dealing with the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my own layers of “stuff.”

There is much that we can learn from presence. We can learn that we have the strength to face our fears and move forward. We can learn that through it all, we have the wisdom, the knowledge, the strength, the perseverance, to do what we truly want, not what others may want for us. We can face those ugly, dark corners in our minds and hearts and bodies and say, “I will not believe those things. I will move forward, I will put one foot in front of the other. I will breathe, I will be strong, I will let myself off the hook. I will make peace with my past for to not do so, is to forever be tied to it and to let it hold me back.” This, I will say, resonates with me. I find that as I open my heart to others, as I have the courage to share and take the time to really listen, we all are so similar in our thoughts and feelings about what holds us back. We want more than we have, we regret what we have not yet done. We fear the future; we may regret some of our past. We achieve, yet, sometimes blame ourselves in slippery little ways for our success. We take the time to sit still and then call it a “bad meditation session.” This is the stuff of life and our challenge is to somehow, through it all, stay awake, amidst all these feelings and thoughts.

Did you ever see one of those maps in a shopping mall directory, or better yet, at a trailhead? It shows a visual of the whole area and then, a small arrow sits on the map. Next to the arrow is a saying, “You are here.” It sits there, on the map, a small speck amidst all the stores, or, on the map of a trailhead, the arrow points to a small area in the forest. And the forest surrounds the speck, but yet, there the arrow sits, calming pointing to where you are in this one moment. You are here. You’re not on the other side of the forest, or on the hill. You’re not back at the car, or on the way to the start of the hike. You’re here. In this one moment, there is so much that can be done, so much that can be made of it, if you’ll only give yourself a moment to feel your feet, take a deep breath and connect. Not to the past, not to the future, but to right here, right now.

Peace.

I’ve always run. Well, not really. I’d say I ran quite a bit in high school, and then I hung up my sneakers and hit the gym. I pretty much worked out in the gym for a few years, and at one point, in my early 30’s, I was going through a tough time and I figured I’d run it out. I ran. A lot. I ran in the morning, I ran in the evening. I was living in a warm climate at the time, so I ran for most of the year, only resting in December.

This went on for about 3 years and then, on a vacation, I took my very first yoga class. It was 1999. It planted a seed that took a few months to really take hold, but once it did, yoga was part of my life. For about 2 years, I stopped running. Yoga replaced my running completely. But then, my heart yearned to be outside, especially in the summer. I loved the feeling of just throwing on my sneakers and heading out the door. I loved the biomechanics of it, the simplicity of it, how it made me feel strong and stoked my competitive fire. When I took up running the second time, because I had yoga in my life, I started to see the similarities between the two. There were so many physical as well as mental commonalities that I just started to mix the two. Run one day, practice the next. Run two days, practice the third. Over the years, as my tolerance for running in the cold waned, I pretty much took off November-April and just practiced yoga. Ran a half marathon in 2007 and a marathon in 2008. By that point, yoga and running for me were intrinsically linked. Now, I can’t imagine not doing them together.

This Saturday, August 14, 2010, I’m hosting a workshop for Runners at Charlestown Yoga. It’s a very personal event for me, because it will be filled with a lot of my own inspirations and techniques from my own running and yoga practices. I’m so excited to share with friends, old and new.

So, what do yoga and running share? Here are some of the topics we’ll bring to life in this workshop:

Meditation is great preparation

Let your breath be your guide

Feel your foundation, including all four corners of your feet

Put the power where you need it and relax the rest

Line up your joints for maximum power, efficiency and to prevent injury

Set your eyes; stay out of other people’s lives

The road is just as much of a mirror as your mat

Move from your center, outward

Move from the power of your muscles and bones to create a purposeful, light stride

Pick a mantra and use it in times of challenge to re-direct and re-focus your mind

Consistency is key

Restoration is rejuvination

And my favorite thing that yoga and running share: Pedicures are mandatory as part of your training! (for guys too!)

I would also like to credit Baron Baptiste, for sharing many related principles with me, as part of my training. In his book, Journey Into Power, you will read about the guidelines of Power Yoga and many of my thoughts above have been inspired by my training with Baron. I highly encourage you to read this book.

If this sounds interesting, I hope you’ll join me so you can see how we can bring these principles to life. Please sign up today at www.charlestownyoga.com. Only $25.00. 11am-2:00 pm.

Karen Fabian, M.S., Certified Baptiste Yoga Teacher, ERYT 200HR, has been teaching in Boston since 2002. She is the founder of Bare Bones Yoga; its’ mission is to bring yoga to adults and children in creative ways. Follow her on Facebook @Bare Bones Yoga and Twitter @barebonesyoga. Visit her website, www.barebonesyoga.com

Whenever I meet someone who has never practiced yoga, I often hear a number of reasons why they have never taken a yoga class. I’m not sure why people often feel compelled to tell me their stories, but I am always happy to listen for it always fascinates me as to the reason why people avoid taking a yoga class. This by no means is meant to decrease what may seem like the most logical reasons in the world, but it is to challenge you (if this describes you) into a new point of view. Things I might hear:

· I’m not flexible; I can’t even touch my toes

· I have no idea what I’m doing; everyone else will know what they are doing and I’ll feel stupid

· I once went to yoga class and had no idea how to do the poses. I would need to go to a beginner’s class or work with someone individually before I to go another class

· I don’t have time

· I don’t have a mat

· I’ll be self-conscious in public in yoga clothes

These are just some of the things I hear and in your head, you may be hearing something different when it comes to why you haven’t taken the first step to go to a yoga class. Maybe on some level, you know it would be healthy for you; you see your friends have done it, started it, somehow gotten up the nerve and worked through the awkwardness of learning, but you’ve got no sense of how you would do it. So, you sit, trapped somewhere between your head and your feet and nothing happens.

This kind of paralysis happens with lots of things. It might be what’s holding you back from taking a new job, or even looking for a new job. It might be what’s holding you back from networking with people you don’t know all that well. It might be what’s holding you back from starting a new romantic relationship or growing further with the one you have. It might be what’s holding you back from learning any new skill, taking a new class or going back to school.

The mind is always at work, and oftentimes, it’s not to push us further into new territory, but instead to keep us locked up in the box of what we already know. What we already know is rooted for many of us in how we’re raised, our environment, our cultures, our past experiences. To grow into new areas and try new things means to avoid listening to those voices and to proceed anyway. This can take an amazing amount of self-talk and many of us lose that battle day after day.

Negative self-talk also can be fueled by our perceptions of what other people’s lives are like. The growth of social networking has brought us new ways of staying connected with each other (although some might counter this and say it has actually gotten in the way of building relationships the old fashioned way; in person!) but with it has come a new way to feed unhealthy perceptions about the lives our friends are leading. Perception is killer; as soon as you get caught up in the idea of what other’s lives are like, all you do is cut off your own ability to do what you want to do, in your own way. It’s a fine balance; exposure to new ideas can help us grow but it can also feed our feelings of inadequacy. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

So what can yoga teach us about moving past the head and into action? Yoga is an individual practice that’s all about the connection between mind and body. The definition of yoga is to “yoke” or “join” and to join “body” and “mind” translates into action. It is the pure expression of hearing, integrating and putting into action movement. It is through this experience that we begin to conquer our fears about what is possible in our bodies. And through this experience, we begin to quell those voices that tell us, “I can’t” or “my body doesn’t do that” or “I’m the only one in the room that doesn’t know the poses.” And with every experience where we take action and “act as if” we build confidence and demonstrate to ourselves that we can move past our fears, our feelings of inadequacy and move into the joy of accomplishment. And it doesn’t have to mean we did it perfectly and it doesn’t mean it wasn’t challenging and it doesn’t mean it wasn’t fraught with pitfalls. But it means that despite it all, we did it anyway. And in that, there is nothing but pure joy.

Often, once we start something new and love it, we want those around us to share in our joy and appreciation. Yoga practice is no different. I can remember my joy at finding yoga and in my first few weeks, I tried (unsuccessfully) to thrust it upon some of my friends. Some came to class with me and others were steadfast in their resistance. I heard every excuse in the book; things like,              “Yoga? I can’t even touch my toes!” “What? You mean pay to pack myself into a room and have someone next to me sweat on my mat?” So, I proceeded solo, knowing that at least I had finally found the right blend of sweat, strength and serenity to keep me healthy for a lifetime.

I see a lot of people in both class and the street in my neighborhood and one of the more frequent questions I get is, “How do I get my (fill in the blank: wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, sister, mother”you get the idea) to start practicing?

Ah, if it were only so easy. It’s natural to want those around you share in what you have come to not only love, but also see as essential for your health and wellness. But remember your own initial resistance to starting a yoga practice? Maybe you didn’t experience any resistance but instead jumped willingly on the mat, open-hearted and ready for anything. But many people struggle with a lot more than just tight hamstrings when it comes to the idea of practicing yoga. Sometimes this resistance is compounded by poor body image, low self-esteem, shyness, resistance to trying new things, past conditioning or less-than positive experiences in past yoga classes. Whatever the reason, most of them can be boiled down to one core emotion: fear. Ah yes, that ugly monster that seems to rear its’ head when we are trying to make positive changes in our lives. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it; surprising us, making us feel anxious and holding us back from expressing our true nature.

One of the best ways to create an environment ripe for possibility around yoga practice with your loved ones and friends is to be a shining example of the value of a yoga practice. This is best practiced by not trying too hard. This does not mean buying Yoga Journal and reading it at the dinner table or swapping your boyfriend’s favorite comedy DVD for the latest popular yoga one. It just means to demonstrate through your actions and words what it means to love something and be genuinely excited by having it in your life.

Having said that, there are some concrete things you can do to encourage a tentative would- be yogi to jump off and start a yoga practice:

1. Be an example in consistency. Yoga practice is best done on a regular basis. Just like you would brush your teeth every day, having a regular yoga practice, even if it’s not daily, is an example of what it means to stay committed, even through the ups and downs of life’s challenges. When you demonstrate perseverance and commitment even through life’s tough times as well as life’s good times, your loved ones will see it and see its affect in helping you stay grounded. This sets a powerful example for those around you.

2. Answer questions openly and honestly, without turning every opportunity into a sales pitch. Often, when someone we love is thinking about trying something new, they will poke and prod and ask around, before taking that first step. They’re gathering information, in part to allay their own fears about taking that step. What seems common to you, is fraught with fear for a newer practitioner. Where do I change? Are there showers? How much space between the mats? How hot does it get in the room? Is the teacher going to show us all the poses? These are often some of the things that race through the mind of a new student before going to their first class. Be patient and answer completely and without any attachment to results. Asking questions is almost always a sign of movement towards positive change. Resist the urge to close the conversation with a “You should DEFINITELY come to class with me tomorrow!” Keep an open invitation and support them where they are at, not where you WANT them to be.

3. If asked, share what you have gained from yoga practice versus telling them what you think THEY will get out of practice. You might hear yourself saying, “You should definitely try yoga too. You have such tight hamstrings from running.”  Or, “You get so stressed at work. Yoga would really relax you.” This is giving advice. This usually never works and when it’s given from one person to another, and these two people are involved in a romantic relationship or a parental relationship, it can be fraught with emotional minefields. Try sharing your joy through what yoga has done for YOU. ” I love how stretched out I feel” or, “I’m sleeping better than I have in years,” or, “I love how I digest my food better.” These are all individual statements, but hey, who out there won’t say they want to feel stretched out, better rested and calmer? Most of what we draw from yoga practice is universally beneficial; this is because yoga is based on essential truths we all share as humans. We struggle against “what is” and in that struggle, we lose connection to the present moment and the present moment can only be accessed when we focus on our breathing. This is the essential truth we learn as yoga students and it’s the overarching premise under which all the other benefits fall. You can give advice, but honestly, no one really likes a know-it-all. Let your glow and personal experience speak for itself.

4. When that day comes, and perhaps it will (perhaps it won’t) be supportive not enabling. There is a subtle difference and anyone that has lived with someone struggling with addiction knows it. We’re not talking tough love here but there is a difference from showing someone the ropes and leading them. I have seen quite a few yogis bring their loved one to class, plop their mat next to the guy/girl/friend/mom/dad and then proceed to talk to them and point to various spots on their mat throughout the opening sequences, in an effort to be helpful. This is completely natural and sweet and can come from a place of love. But it will usually only end up in frustration for both people. It’s really hard to practice yourself, while you’re worried about the other person. It also short-changes the other person from a huge part of yoga practice; tapping into their own inner wisdom or realizing they have absolutely no connection to that intuitive sense anymore. This can bring up a lot of emotion for people but best to leave the person alone to figure it out. We all can relate and remember our first yoga class as a time filled with not only a sense of wonder and excitement but maybe discomfort and crazy realizations as well. Sometimes we realize it’s been so long since we have paid any attention to our bodies except for when we are hurt or injured. This is such a powerful realization and we want to honor it by letting someone experience this alone. Group yoga classes are a powerful illustration of being in a space with others, supporting each other with your presence, but yet making what are sometimes profound realizations about yourself at the same time. The general rule of thumb I like to use is to help out with the mechanics: the check-in process, where the bathroom is, getting props. But once class starts, you’re both on your own. You might even say to your loved one before class, “Hey, I’m here but don’t feel as if I’m not being supportive if I don’t show you the ropes. I’m so glad you came. Have a great class!”

5. If they fall out of practice, let them be. We’ve all fallen both in and out of love with yoga. Heck, that’s one of the basic principals of yoga itself; transience. Things are changing all the time. Although we talked about consistency and commitment in #1, we’re realistic too. We know there are going to be times in our lives when we don’t, or can’t practice. If it’s your turn, you’re not going to want to be nagged and neither should you nag the one you’re with. Just keep on your own path and they’ll jump back in when they’re ready.

6. Be there for each other. Just as you don’t want to push someone into yoga practice, once they’re in, have fun! These days, there are lots of partner yoga classes out there where you actually need another person to work with you. If that’s a friend, a romantic partner, or a relative, what a great way to strengthen the relationship! Look for opportunities to practice together and support each other in learning new poses and trying more challenging things. If you feel safe doing so, you can spot each other and assist each other as you explore new areas. This can be a somewhat non-traditional but wonderful way to grow your own practice and also your relationship.

Yoga is indeed a solo practice. It’s an opportunity to explore the depths of oneself in a pattern of movement and breath. It’s a chance to tap into the inner workings of the mind and challenge oneself on a physical as well as spiritual level. Let the love you have for yoga shine through all that you do; let it be the light that shines on all around you and draws them in. Whether they end up on the mat or not, you’ll both be better for having yoga in your lives.

Peace.

Karen Fabian, M.S., Certified Baptiste Yoga Teacher, ERYT 200HR, has been teaching in Boston since 2002. She is the founder of Bare Bones Yoga, whose mission it is to bring yoga to adults and children in creative ways. Follow her on Facebook @ Bare Bones Yoga and Twitter @barebonesyoga. Visit her website, www.barebonesyoga.com

Fear is a good thing; sometimes it can save your life. But when it comes to making changes, fear is only a reflection of past conditioning. Break free! Exceed your expectations.

When I was little, I used to play library. I know, geek alert. I loved the organization of what was, at that time, the library process. It’s all very different now, what with the electronic age, but back when I was school- aged, we checked out books by giving the card inside the book to the librarian and she’d stamp it with the date, and slide the card back into its little slot in the front of the book. It was all very organized and regimented. So, when I was home one day, I went out and bought a date stamp, made little envelopes for all my books and would go through the process of “checking them out.” I found it to be a perfectly wonderful way to organize my books.

I also loved to re-arrange my room. After a few months of the room being one way, I’d spend an entire weekend throwing everything into the middle of the room and I’d re-sort, re-stack, re-arrange and toss that which I didn’t need. I wasn’t practicing yoga at the time, but I think on some level I needed to shift my energy and re-focus and though I get that now from my practice, I frequently do a little re-arranging in my current home. It’s a lot harder when you have more than one room but I’m a firm believer in de-cluttering.

I thought I would focus my third installment in the Bare Bones Yoga “How to” series on this topic; the idea of being organized. What does being organized have to do with a yoga practice, you might ask? Well, I believe the two are intrinsically linked. A yoga practice is a way to show care for oneself and being organized does the same thing. Organization gives us the time to focus on the important things, while always rushing around and looking for your lost keys, for instance, wastes precious time (and creates stress) that one could otherwise be spending on the things that matter. Yoga practice is a practice of discipline; as is being organized.

Now, these tips are things that have worked for me over the years. They have become ingrained in my way of being. As with any new habit, you’ll need to work them into your life and I encourage you, of course, to add your own things and toss what of my tips doesn’t resonate with you. I’ve split my tips into a few topics, focusing on the different segments of my life, in the hopes that you’ll share some of the same areas. Also, let me just say, I’m not a professional organizer (if that’s a job) so I don’t consider myself an authority on the subject. But I like to write about things that are near and dear to my heart, and organization is one of them! So, here goes.

Your home

There is nothing that will create more stress in your life than having a cluttered home. Having a clean and uncluttered living space isn’t really connected to how much money you have or how big (or small) your living space is. There are lots of small apartments that, with some creativity, can be functional as well as neat. Here are some of my favorite tips for keeping your house in good working order:

Do a deep cleaning on your house, if it needs it, in order to create a clean slate.

Stock each room with a box of Clorox cleaning wipes (especially the kitchen and bathroom). Use them on the spot for cleaning up spills but more importantly, for doing a once-over every few days. Stock the living room and bedroom with a handy lint free cloth and just do a wipe over the front of the TV and the tops of your tables and dressers. You can do this while watching TV, or before you leave for work or go to bed. It’s amazing what a little wipe down will do and having the supplies handy will encourage you to maintain your clean space once you do the deep clean.

Buy a bucket and fill it with everything you need to clean your house. Paper towels, cleaning supplies, rubber gloves, sponges, brushes and a few lint free cloths. Once a week, grab the bucket and start at the front of the house and work your way through. It’s so much easier when you have everything on hand. After your deep clean, depending on the size of your home, you can probably do it in less than an hour.

Open your closet and grab a few big trash bags. Go through it and toss in the bags any of the clothes you have not worn in one year or more. Then call your local charity and have them pick them up for a donation. Nothing will make you feel better to than to give to charity and also to open up your closet and be able to clearly see what choices you have from a clothing perspective.

Have a wicker basket or some kind of desk organizer by your front door. Use it to drop your keys and sunglasses when you come into the house. If you have a dog, like me, have a hanging entryway caddy (Pottery Barn makes good ones) and hang your dog’s leash on it, along with a few jackets and an umbrella. This way, you’ll never lose your keys and you’ll have a spot for all the things you’ll need before you leave the house.

Mail can be the one of the easiest ways to build clutter. Each day when you get your mail, go right to your garbage pail. Hopefully, you have a shredder (if not, please buy one!) Stand over the shredder and immediately open your mail. Shred what you don’t need. Put your bills in your bill drawer (if you don’t have one, create one. A bill box or inbox will do). Any mail that you get which is documents you need to keep (insurance statements, financial statements, etc) either file right away, or put in a ‘to be filed’ box. Whenever you have free time, you can file the stuff in the box. But don’t get into the trick of piling up mail and waiting for when you have a minute to go through it. Deal with it once and immediately. Also, contact your bank or any other institution that offers paperless billing. Pay on-line as much as you can. This also eliminates a lot of the paper you get in the mail.

Laundry, especially if you have kids, can be an ongoing chore. Every room with a human living it in should have a laundry basket. If you have someone that tends to generate laundry in their car (you know who they are!) put a laundry basket in their car. Make a commitment to doing a load at least once a week or more, if volume warrants it. If you don’t think you have the time, research local laundromats that do laundry. The one in my neighborhood does it by the pound and they do such a great job and fold everything so neatly, I can put it away directly from the bag. Spending a little money on things like this can free you up to do what you really want to do so it can be worth it.

Make your bed every day. If you have kids, encourage them to do so, also (I don’t have kids, but I can imagine this is a tough one!) Having a bed that is made up is one of the first things that can create a sense of sanity and also restfulness when it comes time to go to sleep. There is nothing more inviting than crawling into a bed that you have to turn down the covers on, instead of a bed that looks like you just crawled out of it.

Go through your kitchen cabinets and toss whatever is old and you will not eat. Make a commitment to stock only healthy foods that you enjoy and keep just those in your cupboards. There is nothing more stressful than opening up a kitchen cabinet and seeing tons of things but needing to sort through to find what’s edible and desirable.

Spend a weekend going through your basement, your office, your living room and den. Collect books you haven’t read, items you won’t use anymore. Organize them into piles that you can donate or sell. This may take more than a weekend but it can bring you to a whole new baseline where you’re living with just the things you need from day-to-day. There’s no sense hanging on to those albums or books if you won’t listen to them or read them. Or holding onto posters, pictures, magazines, old notebooks just for sentimental value. Be critical and judicious with what you keep and toss. Think, “ What if I had 48 hours to pack up and move? Could I do it or would I need to spend a whole week going through my stuff to sort it into what I need and what I don’t?” Try to get yourself to the point where you’re living with just what you need from day to day. It will be one of the biggest weights off your chest.

Buy a fireproof box. Store in it your credit cards (don’t carry them on you unless absolutely necessary), important documents, your passport. Lock it and store the key somewhere safe or carry it on your key chain. This is so important in the case of a fire. You need to know that if your whole house burns down, you have identification and a means to replace items and get you through the first few weeks of transition. I did this after there were a few fires in my neighborhood and my awareness around what I’d do if my building burned down was heightened. ( on a related note, if you live with pets, please buy “Pet save” stickers and put them in your windows so just in case of a fire, the fire department knows to get inside to save your pets!)

Your finances

This is really a topic all its own. Again, you might wonder what the heck is a yoga teacher doing writing about finances? Well, being financially sound (note, I didn’t say wealthy) is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Again, this is a topic all unto its own but here I’ll focus on the process, not necessarily the content. These are just things that I have found work for me and even though I might have ups and downs financially, I have a process that I stick to and that helps on some level.

Have a place to store your bills as they come in. Believe it or not, I still pay bills by writing out checks (it harkens back to my “playing library days”). So, I can’t give you much support when it comes to paying online but the basic concept is the same. Have a place where you can store anything as it comes in that requires payment. Set a reminder in your calendar for when you need to pay rent or mortgage. Set the date out with enough time for the check to get there, if you are mailing it and synch it up with when you get paid. I set reminders on my phone to both remind me when I’m getting paid and when I need to pay my mortgage.

If you get paid on a regular day, set a reminder to pay your bills. Stick to it. If you don’t get paid on a regular basis and you work more on a contract basis, pick a day every two weeks to sit down and review what needs to be paid.

Make a budget. Again, this is another topic unto itself, but at a minimum, create an excel spreadsheet that identifies what you pull in each month and what you give out.

Subtract revenue from expenses and put the rest in a savings account. You can set up an automatic deduction from your checking account. If you are not able to do this, at least go through the exercise. Living from check to check creates tremendous stress but what can be worse is having no idea where your money goes each month. Commit to doing the exercise and it will help you identify where you might need to both cut back and add on. When I recently did this exercise, I identified a few things that I was paying for that I was willing to live without. One was a storage unit that cost $60 a month and held a lot of old stuff from an old residence I had. I gave away some things, including a bike to a friend’s son and now save over $700 a year!

Your health

Health insurance is a huge topic these days, so let me start out by acknowledging that you may not have health insurance or a means to get regular check ups. But if you do, make a list of the things that need to be checked each year (eyes, teeth, body) and make those appointments in January for the year. Don’t move them for that dinner appointment or even your regular yoga class. Maintain your health because it’s the only body you’ve got.

Exercise is another huge topic but let me say this. Find what you like to do and create organization around it. If you work out after work, stock a gym bag with your supplies and keep it in your car. If you practice yoga regularly at a favorite studio, make an appointment in your calendar and stick to it. (this includes making the appointment in your work Outlook calendar too!). Clean out your workout drawer so that when it’s time to work out, you have a clean selection of items to wear. Buy fresh sneakers, hang your yoga mat where you can easily get to it, put all the supplies you need in one spot. I have a box under my bed from my 2008 marathon training days. It has all I need for running: Watches, bandages, ipod arm wrap carrier, athletic tape, Power Bars, sunscreen. It’s right next to my sneaker box so when I put on my running shoes, I sort through the box and pull out what I need from there as well. No more forgetting to put on sunscreen or wondering where your watch is!

Your car

Cars, like health insurance, have become almost a luxury these days. Expensive to have, especially if you live in a city, expensive to maintain but for most of us, they are completely necessary. I would love to live without a car but every time I think of it, I languish over the idea. Needless to say, companies like ZipCar have really got the concept of not owning a car down pat, and they provide a really wonderful alternative to car ownership. But, for the rest of us, we pay for the insurance, the gas and the upkeep. So having said that, here are a few tips to keep your car in good working order and healthy.

Keep a file, either in your car or home, of every receipt of a car check up.

If you can bring your car to the same place every time for any fix, oil change or upgrade, do it. They, as well as you, will then have a running record of what’s been done. Furthermore, repeat customers are in a much better position to negotiate. I recently had an expensive repair and was able to negotiate a $200 discount as well as a free state inspection.

Don’t use your car as a traveling storage unit. Along with creating a sense of clutter in your car, cars with lots of items in full view are at risk for break-ins. If you work on the road and need to store supplies in your car, visit Target, buy a bunch of bins or storage containers. Put them in the trunk or under the back cover of your hatch and store your supplies in there.

Your goals

We all live wanting to make changes, grow in different directions, travel, read, make new friends, lose weight, find a new job, move to a new city. Whatever your goals are, create a way to not only write them down, but track your progress towards those goals. My favorite thing over the past few years is just to carry a simple spiral notebook with me wherever I go. I use it to write down ideas, contacts, follow up items. When you work for yourself, you’re always looking for new ways to grow your business. Buy one in January and use it to not only identify what you want to do, but track progress. Whenever I’m feeling frustrated, I look back in the book and see the little check marks. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

These areas are just some overall, general areas that will start you on your path or, if you’ve got things in great shape already, hopefully you found some new ideas here that will be useful for you. Taking the time to create a sense of order in your life, while it takes effort and commitment, can be one of the best ways to create health s well. Please feel free to share your ideas with me as well. What has worked for you maybe a great thing for someone else! Namaste.

Karen Fabian, M.S., Certified Baptiste Yoga Teacher, ERYT 200 HR, is the founder and owner of Bare Bones Yoga. The mission of Bare Bones Yoga is to bring yoga to adults and children in creative ways. Karen’s website is www.barebonesyoga.com and she can be found on Facebook under Bare Bones Yoga as well as Twitter. Karen writes regularly on her blog, www.kfabian.com. Contact her at karen@barebonesyoga.com.

Well, why don’t we find out! My name is Karen Fabian and some of you may know me from my posts on Facebook, under my business name, Bare Bones Yoga. The Bare Bones Yoga concept started out as a rented space in Boston, where people attended classes for $10 and while the physical space reflected a “bare bones” environment, you got 90-minutes of stress-reducing, physical toning and shaping yoga at this low cost. Over time, the space turned into an art gallery (still a worthy cause, mind you) and the mission of Bare Bones Yoga expanded to one of providing yoga to children and adults in creative spaces. So, along with my regular Sunday classes at Charlestown Yoga, I provide lots of yoga outside, in private sessions, at other studios, backyards, decks, parks and private facilities. I offer free classes to non-profits and have recently started working with runners privately in running/yoga training sessions. These sessions include pre-run guided meditation, running together with specific verbal coaching along the way, post-run yoga to stretch the muscles that often get tight with running and weekly written running plans.

I’ve been teaching yoga since 2002 and in that time, have met countless students who have faced challenges primarily on their own, but with regular support by attending yoga classes. I’ve seen students with injuries, students interested in re-shaping their bodies; students who were sore from years of over-training, and students who were so stressed from years of work and unhealthy eating and unconscious behaviors, that they were at the end of their rope. Through regular yoga practice, these students began to break through and with the support of their friends, families and others, they surmounted incredible challenges. But what would happen if they dedicated a full week to their health and wellness? What kind of impact would that make?

The idea of a week-long bootcamp is not a new one. My own training as a Baptiste certified teacher and Experience Registered Yoga Teacher (ERYT-200HR) began with a week-long teacher training in Maya Tulum, Mexico. It was a wonderful experience and it changed my life for the better, as it was the first step in my path to dedicating myself to being a yoga teacher. Having said that, it wasn’t an inexpensive endeavor (although it was worth every penny), required I leave home for a week (again, not a bad deal) and required that I take time off from work. But having said all that, there is something to be said for working on your path to health and wellness when you are right at home, where you have to face those day to day challenges head on, and where you can’t escape your daily routine by going to the beach. So, what if you had someone who could create a customized health and wellness plan for you, with yoga as the foundation from the physical and mental perspective, but a plan that was also filled with as many other components as you wanted. Things like:

· A comprehensive health and wellness questionnaire designed to uncover the areas in your fitness and nutrition routine that could use improvement to help you reach your goals;

· A daily fitness plan, created before-hand, that would be led by me, each morning and even evening sessions as well, if you so desired;

· A fitness plan that, while it includes yoga, can also include things like weight training, running (distances up to 10 miles, if desired) and boxing/general strength training/toning work.

· Menu planning, including cooking demonstrations. As a former Personal Chef, I have cooked for a variety of clients, (even the Celtics Paul Pierce!) and have a great deal of experience showing clients how to cook healthy food. If you prefer not to cook yourself, you might want me to prepare a week’s worth of healthy meals for you, for you to heat and eat at your leisure.

· Personal wellness coaching sessions, as many as you wish, focused on a getting you on track. Maybe you’re struggling with a lot on your plate right now, and need an objective person to discuss options with. Maybe you are trying to make lifestyle changes and aren’t quite sure how to go about integrating them into your life. Maybe you feel like your home, finances, job path and relationships are each in a state of varied disarray and you have no idea which to address first. Maybe your house and lifestyle are just disorganized and you don’t think you can get things organized. These are all things that I have experience with and with my background as both a yoga teacher and counselor, I have worked with many people in a variety of capacities; health and wellness coaching is just the next extension of that background.

This kind of plan can be customized so it meets your needs (and budget). The core component is daily private yoga sessions and from there, you can add on pieces from the above list (or suggest your own ideas!) to create a plan that will have the most impact. Think of me as your “Personal Health and Wellness Coach”, available to help you meet your challenges head on, but not alone, to give you the leg up you need, so after the week is done, you can keep moving forward having gained tremendous momentum. This plan is meant to be done with you, in your own environment and will not require that you take any time off work and will not require that you travel. This is why for this first offering, I am focusing primarily on someone that lives in the Boston area, as this is where I live.

If this concept sounds interesting to you, let me know. We can discuss what your service plan might look like and what components will meet your needs. We’ll discuss what week would work for you (and for me) and plan accordingly. We’ll discuss pricing and get it formally scheduled and in your calendar so you have it to look forward to as a way to get you to the next level in your life.

Now, the only practical detail is this: For this first time offering, I will be limiting the students I work with to one or two. Depending on the number of services requested by a student, I may only be able to work with one person, or if 2 students request a smaller-scale plan, then I would be able to work with at least 2 students. But if you think this is something you’d like (or something you’d even like to give to someone you love as a gift!) then get in touch with me soon to book the time. If you’re not sure, please just contact me and let’s discuss it. If nothing else, it will give you a chance to start to articulate your thoughts, feelings and goals and even if this is not the service for you, there is a lot we can do on a much smaller scale as well.

I hope you find this interesting and would love the chance to work with you on your path to health and wellness!

Peace.

One of my fascinations as a yoga teacher is when I see a new student show up for class for the first time and then see the student come back again. And again. And again. A student for whom yoga was not part of his or her life slowly begins to integrate this wonderful practice of health and wellness into his or her daily routine. It’s a great validation of the flexibility of the human psyche to take on new things and stay open to new ideas and challenges.

But at the same time, one of the hardest things to do is start a new habit. As a yoga teacher, I get asked all the time about health and wellness habits and how you can integrate exercise or better nutrition or meditation, for instance, into a daily routine that already seems overwhelming.

In yogic terms, the word samskara refers to the patterns we have developed in our lives that show themselves in the habits we have. In Sanskrit, sam refers to ‘complete or joined together’ and kara means ‘cause, action or doing.’ When we keep doing the same thing, or samskara, over and over again, we create a pattern that is very hard to break. I like to think of it like water flowing over the same rock in a stream, day after day, hour after hour. It wears a groove in the rock and that will continue to grow until the rock shifts and moves to a different position in the stream. But what causes the rock to move is usually an event or catalyst of some kind; a storm or maybe a person happening by that picks up the rock and places it in another location. Samskaras can be positive or negative; for our discussion here we’re talking about ends of the spectrum.

When you think of the rock in the above example and you think about the energy it takes to move a rock in a stream, that’s the kind of energy it can feel like it can take to break a bad habit. But it’s done all the time. I just heard the other day that Alcoholics Anonymous had its 75^th anniversary. One of the hardest habits to break is alcohol addiction (or any substance abuse addiction) but it’s done all the time through this wonderful organization. That’s in large part due to the concept of surrounding yourself with people that all share the same goal as you- but, more on that technique later.

So this brings me to my first list of suggestion around “how to break a (bad) habit.” I hate to characterize anything as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ because that kind of polarization tends to get us into trouble, because it lacks an appreciation of how things can be in between, and especially in the case of habits, we know that a huge part of habits are based on our life story, our genetics, how we were raised, our family history, our culture, our role models. But we know that there are things that we do that we’d like to change and certainly anyone that’s had a recent physical exam may have been told by their doctor to change certain eating habits or start an exercise routine because it’s critical to their health and wellness. So, we know that there are things that are necessary to change in our life so that we may live long and healthy ones.

So, here is my short list of techniques you can use to break a habit you’d like to change:

1. Get educated about the impact of your habit on your life. This applies to things like smoking, drinking, overeating or any habit that has a direct impact on your health. There are lots of reality TV shows these days that introduce a physician into the mix and have that physician educate the student as to the impact of their unhealthy habit on their body. If you want to break a bad habit, start to learn more about what impact you’re having by continuing the habit. The recent museum show that brought donated bodies on display included presentations of actual lungs of smokers. It is a real awakening to see what impact something like smoking has on your body. Living with the pressure of constant stress is another thing that can have a huge impact on your body. Take a few minutes and do some internet research about how your habit is affecting you for both the short and long term. This works most easily with poor health habits but can be applied to other things as well.

2. In order for your habit to change, you have to change the association between your habit and your trigger activity. Most bad habits, like the samskaras we discussed before, have an association with some other activity. The person who craves a cigarette after a meal, the person who overeats when they are stressed, the person who goes into high stress whenever they are in particular work situations. It’s our ability to change these ‘trigger’ events and how we look at them that can make the difference between successful change of a bad habit and falling into a pattern of repeating past behaviors. So, if you know you overeat at night when watching TV, don’t buy junk food for your house. Take up knitting or another task you do with your hands so you can be distracted from munching by using your hands to do something else. If you know you’re stressed in a particular job or job situation, look to get training so you can build confidence in your skills. These are all fairly simple examples but hopefully, you get the point.

3. Stop associating yourself with the people that promote your habit and support it. This can be one of the hardest things to do and is not always possible if the person that supports your bad habit, or perhaps has the same habit is your spouse, significant other or someone to whom you share a close, emotional relationship. Working with that dynamic is another blog post unto itself. But, generally speaking, if you know that when you spend time with certain friends, there will be (fill in the blank) drinking, over-eating, over-spending, drug use, gossiping, or any other habit that you’re trying to break, the reality is you’re going to need to closely examine those connections and decide if they’re worth it. Who knows? By you deciding to work on changing your habit, you may inspire others to as well!

4. Give yourself the room to fall off the wagon and get back on without judgment. Start your habit-breaking process by acknowledging that you are human and will make mistakes. There will be times that you fall short of your new goals and your commitment will waver. But by being compassionate with yourself and giving yourself room for that right from the start, you allow yourself some room for these mis-steps that are bound to happen along the way. You also acknowledge them and doing that will prevent throwing in the towel completely when those inevitable mis-steps occur.

5. Practice meditation: I know, no one likes to meditate. It seems like nothing and is so hard to do! But sitting in stillness is one of the best ways to create awareness and having a habit we do all the time is an act of pure UN-consciousness. Sitting in stillness, even if it’s for a short period of time each day, will create an awareness that will give you the strength to break an unconscious pattern of UN-wellness.

6. Examine your life story: I’m not saying go to therapy, but I’m not ruling that out either. I’m also not suggesting that you have to go back to your childhood to find the root cause, if there is one, for your habit’s genesis. But there is no denying that the habits we create, especially the unhealthy ones, are often a product of something that is unresolved, unsaid, undone, incomplete, unfinished or unprocessed in our lives. There’s a saying that says, “ the only way out is through” and the basic context of this message as it relates to our discussion here is that in order to change a bad habit, you need to face whatever your reality is around that habit and go right through to the heart of the matter. This can be seen a great deal with habits around over-eating, excessive drinking or drug abuse. Refusing to face our feelings can lead to an urge to cover them up with something else. It’s that ‘something else’ that can often create the “bad” habit.

So, we’ve gone through a short list of ideas around breaking a ‘bad’ habit, so now let’s focus on the flip side, otherwise known as, “how to start a new habit. “

1. Find someone that already embodies your habit and form a connection with them. This could be a yoga teacher or someone that you will visit who will offer you a service which is your new “habit.” It could be a friend or someone in a particular industry that supports the new behavior you wish to display. In AA, they call it a sponsor and we may not be going to that degree, but the point is for you to find someone that can inspire you to stay the course.

2. Related to #1, surround yourself with people that support your habit. Facebook is a great tool for this kind of thing, from an electronic standpoint. You can join groups, or better yet, start one, and surround yourself with people that support the habit you are working to embody in your life. In-person clubs or social activities that put you in touch with people that support your new behavior is another way to engrain your new habit into your mind and body. There are also tons of blogs out there led by inspiring people who write daily on the ups and downs of staying on a particular path. Use these tools, both in-person and electronic, to keep you on track.

3. Look at your schedule and ‘schedule’ time for your habit, if possible. If your habit involves “doing” something, one of the challenges will be around finding the time in your schedule to do it, whatever it is. Making an appointment for yourself on a daily basis to do this new thing will help you start to find the time in your already busy life and once you get some traction and see some results, it will be easier. If your habit has to do with something around a particular mindset, setting a reminder on your phone to , “ Stay Present” or “Believe” or anything that gives you that little message of encouragement you may need to stay on track.

4. Keep a journal. Staying in touch with your feelings and what’s going on in your body and mind as you work to promote your habit as part of your life is likely to engender a lot of new feelings. Taking the time to write them down can be a valuable part of working through the struggle of starting something new. It also acknowledges the resistance that you may encounter when starting something new and gives you a healthy outlet for facing how you’re feeling rather than shoving it under the proverbial rug.

5. Celebrate your little successes. Building a new habit is a series of little steps along the way and every little step gives you an opportunity to build your confidence and self-esteem. It’s not really about an ‘end-goal’ per se; it’s more about creating a new daily routine. Buying fresh flowers or enjoying a healthy dinner out when you reach a new milestone; visiting the beach or a museum, or buying a new outfit or better yet spending a little money on something to promote your new behavior ( a nice journal or a new sports watch) is a way to reward yourself for a job well done for all the little pieces that will create the new puzzle of your life.

Throughout our lives, we will have many opportunities to make positive changes in our lives. We will also have opportunities to face the realities of how our behaviors are impacting our health and wellness and lifestyles in a less-than optimal way. Making positive change can be challenging but it is one of the best ways to validate the power of the human spirit to be flexible and strong at the same time. Be strong and remember, “the easy path leads to the hard life, but it is the hard path that can lead to the easy life.”